Change of attitude may relieve holiday stress
Catholic Spirit, December 2007, Voices
By Shelley Metcalf
Catholic Spirit Staff
Advent is supposed to be a holy season, filled with anticipation, hope and the realization that God loves us so much that he sent us his son, Jesus. Why, then, is it so stressful?
On top of the normal “busyness” of life, there are gifts to buy, decorations to hang, desserts to make, relatives to visit, cards to send and other such tasks to accomplish.
Every year I tell myself I am going to get a head start on the gift buying, so I can fully enjoy the Advent season. And every year, despite my good intentions, Thanksgiving comes and goes and very few, if any, gifts have been purchased. So, I spend most of Advent fighting the lines in the malls, searching for the right present for so and so, returning this and buying that.
Sometimes the only praying that I do is silently asking God to please let there be money left in my checking account at the end of the day. For four weeks instead of anticipating the birth of Christ, I spend the days stressed out and quickly losing patience with myself and with all those around me.
So this year, again, I have tried to get ahead, and I have made some progress. In early November I started a list of what I was going to get each of the kids, my husband, family members and so on. I have bought a few gifts already and I feel more prepared for Advent than I have in a long time. This year I have vowed to change my attitude and not to let the hubbub of the season get in the way of my relationship with God and my anticipation of the birth of his Son.
This year, while I am standing in line for minutes on end, I am not going to be bitter and impatient. Instead, I am going to say a prayer for each of those around me. I am sure others struggle at this time of the year, just like I do. So I am going to ask God to be with them and give them patience and understanding.
This year while I am buying gifts for my loved ones, I am going to put conscious thought into what I am buying. My children are going to get gifts that have meaning and not just another toy that will be forgotten in less than a week. I want them to know that Santa put thought into his gifts and is not just the “bringer of toys.”
This year I am going to relish every minute I get to spend with my grandparents, who are aging quickly. Not many people who are my age have all four of their grandparents living and active, so I am going to take advantage of every minute I get to visit with them. I am going to make sure that my children know how blessed they are to spend Christmas with several generations: their great grandparents, grandparents, parents and cousins. I hope I can impart to my children the importance of family and being together during the holidays that my grandparents and parents have bestowed upon me.
And finally this year, I am going to make time each day and set aside a few minutes on Sunday to begin an Advent tradition in our home. I want to teach my children the symbolism of the Advent wreath and candles and how they show our eager waiting for the birth of our Lord.
I don’t consider any of these tasks to be difficult. They are all quite doable, in fact, if I just keep reminding myself of the “reason for the season.” If I just put my mind and heart together, I think I can get through Advent without feeling too stressed or overwhelmed, at least I pray this is the case!
I owe it to myself and to my family to enjoy the season of Advent. They deserve to witness in me the true meaning of Christmas. And I, too, deserve to feel happy, patient and joyful during this “most wonderful time of the year.”